Costco

The kids were horrible the other day. We were in Costco sitting at the concessions. Danny was talking to a friend (he has days off this week because he is working nights) so it was me, Alice on my lap, Maria sitting next to me and Jamie "sitting" across from me. Nightmare. I don't eat meat, so I asked for a slice of cheese pizza. Maria wanted the same. Well, they were out of cheese (only had one piece) so we got her a pepperoni and took the meat off of it. First of all, she likes pepperoni. She eats it all the time. Secondly, it might sound like I'm terrible for not just taking that one and doing the same, but I can still taste the pepperoni after I do that and it makes me gag. Okay, so anyway, she cried. Like, hid under the table, scowled at me, cried. She ate a little bit of it, but decided it wasn't good. Then there was Jamie who kept creeping away and pulling on the little rope that ropes off the ordering line. What happened? Oh, it broke and snapped back at someone. Awesome. A Costco employee came, didn't look happy, and tried to fix it. Meanwhile, Alice wants to nurse so she's putting her hand down my shirt and whining. Danny comes back and gets Maria a slice of cheese. Then she cries because we wont' get her a churro.

Alright, so the ride home was less than perfect. I was trying to ignore them with the music up but heard this:

Jamie: "mama...can we watch Noggin when we get home?! Mama!!!! Noggin???"

Mama: "Absolutely not. Why would I turn that on for you guys? You were awful!"

Jamie (pretending I hadnt' just said that): "Mama...can you turn on Noggin for us?"

Maria (as serious as a heart attack): "Well....not the way we're acting she won't!"

She gets it.

Friends

Maria talks about her friends all the time. I mean ALL the time. If it's not, "Sophia had really beautiful shoes on today," then it's, "Lydia's hair looks so great in a ponytail," or maybe, "My friends and I had to run really fast together and it was really fun." Jamie, apparently, has had enough.

Maria: "Mama, some of my friends are going to All Saints Catholic School with me next year. That will be so fun, won't it?"

Jamie (dead serious): "What's so great about friends, anyway, Maria??"

oh, my poor, poor, friendless boy.

Cloud Shapes

On our way home from our hiking trip, the clouds were awesome. The kids like to look up at the sky and pretend they see shapes. Maria never likes to be outdone, especially by her little brother. Here's a perfect example:

Jamie: "Look! In the clouds I see a duck!"

Maria: "Hmm. Well over there I see a huge, giant, fat dragon with no legs. It has some teeth."

Giraffes

The other day, the kids were pretending they were different animals:

Jamie: "Maria, I am a dragon."

Mama: "Oh, no! Are you going to eat me?"

Jamie: "Yes! [hehehehehe] Rawrrrr."

Maria: "I am a giraffe."

Mama: "oh, no! Are you going to eat me, giraffe???"

Jamie: "No, mama. Giraffes don't eat girls. Giraffes eat trees. They stretch their necks up really big and they eat trees. Not girls."

And this is really how Jamie talks.

mama garb

Okay, so I am in the middle of getting Alice changed when Maria comes up to me:

Maria: "Hey, mom!" (She's holding a home-made bib that a very sweet grandma - not one of mine or dans, but of a friend of ours - made for Maria when she was born. It is made out of a washcloth and ribbon. It's very sweet and very homemade.)

Mama: "Hey, Maria!"

Maria: "Psh, mom.....But hey, mom, will you tie this around my hips? I wanna look like a mama."

Perrrrrrrrrrrrfect. Starting right now, I am on a mission....and the purpose of that mission is to never, ever, have Maria say anything like that about mamas again. Maybe next time she wants to dress up and look like a mama, she'll be sporting a cute size 2 dress, awesome heels, her eyebrows will be waxed (perfectly) and she'll most definitely NOT be wearing a homemade "apron" tied around her "hips."

100% naked

Danny landscaped our backyard this week. He put in new plants, bark, and even put in a little fountain. The kids LOVE the fountain. They drink out of it like dogs (sick) and splash their toes in it. While I'm editing photos on the computer in the basement, they can play outside because I can see and hear them through the window. Of course, Jamie takes his clothes off the second he's outside. This is nothing new or weird for him. Maria likes to be naked, too, but she isn't quite as quick to pull the clothes off.

This conversation was taking place on either side of a screen on a window.

Maria: "mom, I'm bigger than Jamie, right?"

Mom: "Yes, Maria, you are."

Maria: "Okay, so that means I'm pretty much in charge of him."

Mom: "Sure, Maria. YOu can be in charge." (I knew this was dangerous)

Maria: "Well, mom.....he took his clothes off. He's in the fountain. Splashing."

Mom: "I know, he always does. Just let him. He's fine, no one is here."

Maria: "Okay. But, ya know, since he did that and I"m pretty much in charge of him you know what that means."

Mom: "What?"

Maria: "Well....I'm just gonna have to take mine off, too."

And there they were. Running around completely, 100% naked in our backyard.

Broccoli and egglets

We were eating dinner tonight and we had:

-rolls

-soup

-veggies (broccoli, cauliflower, carrots)

-the kids had eggs

Maria: "Mama, can I have an egglet?"

Daddy: "A what???"

Maria: "An egglet, dad. Ya know...like the kind of eggs where it's flat and round. An egglet."

Mama: "Danny.....she wants an omelet."

Daddy: "Oh, sure. You need to eat your vegetables."

Maria: "But I don't like the white things (cauliflower)."

Mama: "Maria, it doesn't really taste like anything and it's healthy for you. It's kinda like white broccoli."

Maria: "Well mom I don't like broccoli. It's crinkly. Ya know...the green things. Like scrumply. And, well, kinda crumplish."

How can I argue with that? I mean, would you want to eat a crumplish, scrumply broccoli? I didn't think so.

Busy Busy

We have been so busy lately:

birthdays, Easter, quick trips, more birthdays, and sick babies.

There have definitely been funny things said but I didn't write any down. But I'm back. And ready to report.