BUSTED

Maria: I don't like boys...I just like to get them busted!

Jamie: Busted....it means broken or in trouble.

Mr. Dictionary.

Imagination

Jamie: "When you close your eyes.....it's imagination."

The Office

We have all been sick this week. I'm not just talking about the same 'ole, "We don't feel well." I'm talking projectile vomiting...all over the floors, bathrooms, and beds. It's been bad. I was the last to get it and it just so happened that Danny was out of town when it struck me. I was in a LOT of pain -- my stomach hurt. Naturally, I didn't want a couple of heat bags laying next to me in bed, so I banished them (that would be Maria and Jamie) to the office where we have a sleeper sofa. They watched movies on the computer until I have no clue when because, well, I fell asleep way before them. Safe, I know. Anyway, today we are pretty much (kind of) back to normal. But Maria has her own ideas:

Maria: "So, Mom....our rooms downstairs are just, like, kind of like our playrooms? See, and then we will sleep in the office. Okay?"

Not a chance in hell.

Nature

Maria: "Bug nature I don't like. It's gross and yucky. But I do love beautiful and pretty nature."

Discovery of Bugs

Jamie: "When I was a scientist, when I was a little kid, I discovered bugs."

Daddy: "What did you discover about them?"

Jamie: "They live in nests."

Daddy: "Cool. What else?"

Jamie: "Their favorite food is pancakes."

OBVIOUSLY.

Worker

Maria wants to be all kinds of things when she grows up. Marine Biologist, teacher, doctor, pet doctor, rock star, but last night she wanted to be a reporter.

Maria: "Mama, I'm going to be a reporter when I grow up. That way I will be on TV."

Mama: "Yeah, of course so you can be on TV."

Maria: "Yeah."

Jamie: "I want to be a worker."

Mama: "What kind of worker?"

Jamie: "The kind that builds stuff."

Mama: "What will you build?"

Jamie: "A house for Maria."

Of course....no one loves Maria like Jamie.

Rock Boy

Maria was the flower girl in our friends' wedding recently. In the elevator after the wedding, there was a couple who had gone to it as well and told Maria how pretty she looked.

Maria: "Thank you. I was the flower girl."

Jamie: "And I was the rock boy."

(No....there was no official rock boy in the ceremony, but he so badly wanted to be a part of it, and this was the only opposite of "flower" he could think of.)

My World

The other night all 3 kids were in the bath and Alice was crying every time I tried to wash the baby shampoo out of her hair. She squeals and it is very frustrating. I kept saying, "No, Alice, you can't get out. Wait 5 minutes."

Jamie looks right at Alice, dead serious, and says, "Welcome to my world."

Jesus, God and Hawaii Heaven

Jamie goes to a Catholic school and last year he went to a Christian preschool. Basically, he has heard a lot about Jesus and God and how they love us and I'm sure he's had to sing many songs about how much he loves them. So imagine my surprise when this came out of his mouth:

Jamie: "I don't love God. I don't love Jesus."

Mama: "Huh??"

Jamie: "I don't love God and Jesus. God is big and scares me because he talks to me."

I don't think he is some special child and God literally talks to him. I think they must be learning about how God is always with them and talks to them through people, things, etc.

Mama: "Why don't you love them? It's good to love God and Jesus."

Jamie: "I just don't. And I don't wanna talk about this right now, we can talk about it tomorrow."

So then Maria heard this little exchange and could not believe what her Jesus-Loving ears were hearing.

Maria: "JAMIE!! You must love God! He is wonderful and gives us things like love and toys and bubble machines."

Mama (whispering): "No, Maria, that's Santa."

Maria: "Oh. Yeah. But, Jamie, God and Jesus are good and live in heaven."

Jamie: "Nope, Maria. They live in Hawaii."

Rodeo

Again, we were at the rodeo. Well, actually, we were driving away from it. I was talking to Dan and Maria overheard me:

Mama: "I seriously hate the rodeo. They are so mean to those baby calves and the bucking horses."

Maria: "Uh...Mama....why do you think they are mean?"

Mama: "Oh..uhh...I just don't think they treat the animals very nice. They capture them and tie them up. I don't think that's very nice."

Maria: (kinda chuckling like she knows something I don't) "Oh...mama...hehehe...well, see, they just do that because they are kind of wild little cows? And well, see, they have to capture them."

Mama: "No...they aren't wild. They keep them inside gates and then let them run off so they can catch and tie them up."

Maria: "Well, yeah, I know, but see this is just how the rodeo is. I don't think they care. I think they kind of like it."

Mama: "no...I don't think so. Would you like to be tied up?"

Maria: "Well...no. I think you're right. It is kind of mean. But I can't wait for next time, you can just stay home."

I don't know where she came from or whose daughter she is.

The song of lewiston...

Last night we were at the rodeo and Lydia was sitting with us. During the national anthem, Lydia asks Maria:

Lydia: "What is this song about?"

Maria: "It's about Lewiston....and how wonderful it is!"

Ferris Wheels and China

Maria: "I feel hot like I just wanna do something. I've been feeling like this every day. Like I just wanna do something really fun. Ya know, like ride a ferris wheel....go to China....I just feel like it."

What my baby wants, my baby gets.

Sparkle

Jamie: "I wish I was a girl so I could sparkle."

Riddles

Jamie: "Solve this widdle." (Widdle = Riddle)

Lala: "Oh, ok."

Jamie: "What goes on your eyes like this, on your ears like this, has glass and it makes you look like a librarian?"

Lala: "Oh, I don't know...hmmm...let's see....a book?" (For the record, Lala is quite smart and didn't really think it was a book)

Jamie: "Nooooo.....it has glass."

Lala: "Oh! Glasses?"

Jamie: "YES!"

................................Later in the car after about 5,000 more riddles............................

Jamie: "Solve this widdle."

Mama: "okay."

Jamie: "What's big and people go inside it and it has doors and it goes like this and then like this and there are books and toys and you can get the toys and put them in suitcases and take them on trips to Hawaii and then you can go on stairs and sleep there and you can eat your lunch?" (all in one really long breath)

Daddy: "A HOUSE!" (Daddy's no fun..)

Legs and Feet

It was our very last day in Hawaii, 5:30 am, and everyone was a little tired. Danny had 2 suitcases, 2 shopping bags and a boogie board in tow. I had 3 suitcases and was pushing a stroller. Maria had a couple little bags and her backpack. Jamie had nothing.

Jamie: "Daddy, will you carry me?"

Daddy: "No, Jamie, I can't."

Jamie: "But Daaaadddddyyyy!!! I need you to carry me!"

Daddy: "No, Jamie, you have 2 legs, you can walk."

Jamie: "I know I have 2 legs. I have 2 feet, too, but I still don't wanna walk."

There you have it.

Eating in a rush

Earlier today, we were in Kailua (I think that's how you spell it) up (or down?) the coast from Waikiki. We stopped at a strip mall to eat at a cheesesteak restaurant. Who doesn't instantly think of philly cheesesteaks when they think of Hawaii??? Anyhow, there was a kid's book store next door that the kids really wanted to go to. Of course, I pulled this out of my hat:

Mama: "If you guys are really good we can go in the store. You have to listen to mama, follow directions, and make good choices."

(And yes, I really did say that exact same thing. I know I sound ridiculous to every mom around me...especially because it just sounds like I'm trying to impress everyone because in 2 minutes they totally make poor choices. But I really do say that to them.)

Of course they replied with: "OKAY! We'll be good!!"

Well....they weren't. Jamie tried to "sneak" to the book store door. Maria threw her food on the floor, trying to feed the tiny pigeons. Jamie threw 1/2 his hot dog away. Maria squirt ketchup everywhere. Let's just say that in the time it took dan to go to "Curry Express," everything went to hell. I was going to say the 's-h' word, but my mom reads this.

So anyway, while Jamie was throwing a tantrum, he said, "I don't want to live with you anymore!!!!!"

Fast forward 3 hours.

Mama: "Why did you tell me you didn't want to live with me? That made me really sad."

Jamie: "Well I was in a rush. When I eat in a rush, it makes me sassy. And then I say I don't want to live with you."

So there you have it. Beware when Jamie eats in a rush. He'll say very hurtful things...

Baby Sea Turtle

Ya know those stands you see in the middle of malls. The ones where you can choose an oyster for $12.99 and you are guaranteed a pearl? SOOOO hokey, right? Like, a total tourist, rip off thing to do, right?

We did it.

C'mon, we are in Hawaii, and it is totally a cool thing to do here.

Maria and Jamie both got to choose one.

Maria: "I hope I get a real pearl in mine!"

Jamie: "OH, I hope I get a baby sea turtle in MINE!"

Sure enough, when we opened them up.....

....nope, not a sea turtle. Just pearls. After mounting them and buying chains.....$108 pearls...

Traveling

We are in Hawaii. Yes, it's true, we are in Hawaii and I am on the internet. What?! It's midnight (9:00 hawaii time, whatever) and the babies are asleep. Dan's watching some Shark Week wannabe show.

Okay, so anyway, we were driving around today. Maria is absolutely LOVING Hawaii. I mean, "I love this place!", yelling, squealing, dancing, LOVING Hawaii. So when we were in the car,

Maria: "I love traveling, Mom!"

Mama: "Ooooh, so do I!"

Daddy: "Me too!"

Jamie: "NOT me three....."

So he doesn't adjust to change very well. Big deal....

Jamie and His Awesome Use of Words

Jamie is so funny. He says things in hilarious ways and uses words that just crack me up. He is so sweet and such a thinker. This week I heard:

"When it is so hot outside, I just don't feel like eating." (It was 100 degrees and we were walking around in the sun...he definitely did not want dinner)

"I had to have a bandage on my finger because I got ran over by a bike." (Bandage???)

"Good morning, Maria!" (he said that so genuinely, and it was just so sweet)

"We have 2 sleeps: the first sleep will be at home and the 2nd sleep will be in Hawaii. And in Hawaii, I am going to wear the pretend Hawaii flower necklace for the Aloha party."

"Uh, oh.....I throwed up." (sure enough...puked all over my freshly laundered bed sheets)

I heard

So a few weeks ago, my little brother and his girlfriend kinda parted ways for a while. Maria is the type of girl who would immediately ask about things if she sensed anything was off, so I figured that, to avoid any awkward moments, I'd just have a little chat with her.

Mama: "Hey guys, I just wanna let you know something."

Maria: "okay, what?"

Mama: "Whitney isn't Pat's girlfriend anymore. They are just friends."

Maria is quiet and I look back and tears are rolling down her cheek.

Maria: "But why? Why does she not wanna be his girlfriend?"

Mama: "Well they just wanna be friends."

Maria: "Will we still see her?"

Mama: "Yep, I'm sure we will still see her."

Jamie (who has been quiet as a mouse the whole time): "But pat won't!!"

Okay, so fast forward to a couple nights ago. Pat and his girlfriend got back together a while ago and I'm of course thinking I probably shouldnt have even said anything about it to Maria. Anyway, we are at the swimming pool and Maria goes up to Whitney.

Maria: "I heard all about it. I heard about you stopping being Pat's girlfriend. My mom told me and I cried a little."

Awwwwkkkkkward.

Exciting Games

Tonight we went to Costco. Ah, Costco. Where aisles and aisles of books and dvds turn into awesome hiding places for 3 and 5-year-olds. Where sample cups get shoved into purses. Where you can eat dinner for $1.50 per person. I love you, Costco.

So anyway, we were at Costco. Danny was checking out (we got some sweet office furniture like a desk and a bookshelf along with other necessities like a Nintendo DS game, a book, and a shirt) so I took the 3 small ones over to the food court. We got our usual: cheese pizza for me and Jamie and a hot dog for Maria. As we're going to sit down, we spot Alison, Lauren and J.J....3 of our little friends (they are 6, 4, and 2). We go and sit down next to them. JJ has to use the bathroom so while her mama is taking her, we got to sit with the big girls.

Maria: "What did you guys do today? What did you play?"

Alison: "We played the pick up game. We played outside. We went to our friends house and we played with their tiny kitten. It's this big (she stretched her hands out -- she was lying, it wasn't a tiny kitten, but I guess that's not the point)."

Maria: "Oh. So did you guys play anything exciting at all?"

Because apparently picking up, playing outside, and playing with kittens is way too boring for my girl. . . . .she was just jealous.

Nurse

The kids were downstairs playing (I send them down when I need 2 minutes to myself). Jamie was playing doctor and Maria was playing Barbies. All of a sudden Maria comes up crying.

Maria: "MOMMMMMM! Jamie hit me!"

Mama: "Why?"

Maria: "He was playing and then hit me and said, 'that's what you get for not being a nurse.'"

So naughty. And secretly, really really hilarious.

Selling Alice

Maria: "Mama, Alice is cute. Let's not sell her."

We were so close, too....

Mountains

Maria: "Mom, how many feet high are mountains?"

Mama: "Lots and lots and lots."

Maria: "Oh, wow."

Jamie: "Mama, how many fingers high are mountains?"

Mama: "Even more."

Jamie: "Wow....cool."

Extra Special

At my parent's house, the kids have a little box full of things like a stapler, tape, a notebook, pens and other stuff so they can play office. One of the items is a smiley face stamp. That is the one item that both kids really really want to have when they play. Tonight, Jamie got the stamp. Maria is funny. She isn't really a whiney, screaming, crying, naughty kid (that's not saying she never does these things, but she doesn't do them a lot). Sometimes, she's super subtle in her sassiness.

So Maria obviously was coveting the smiley face stamp. Jamie was stamping a notebook with the smiley face stamp. Maria got jealous. With her yellow highlighter, she drew a big "X" right through the middle of one of the smiley faces. My mom caught her doing it and kind of scolded her. Jamie saw it, too...

Jamie: "Oh, Maria! That big "X" makes it extra special!"

Her sassy plan totally backfired.

Soup

Maria. Maria who lives in her own little world where every sentence is sung, dance is the way you get around, and your thoughts consist of....soup?

We were at my mom and dad's house and had just gotten out of the pool. We went upstairs and for some reason (I rarely know why Maria does some of the things she does) Maria went out to the garage. 2 minutes later we hear a THUMP!

Maria (Crying): "MOOOOOOMMMMMM!"

Mama: "What happened??"

Maria: "Well.....well......uhm, well....I hit my head."

Mama: "Well how?"

Maria (still crying): "I ran into that thing because I was thinking of soup."

Number

I love Jamie. His little mind works like no other mind I know. He is hilarious and smart and the things he says are sometimes just too much! The other day we were in the car on the way back from Moscow (where Maria has ballet).

Jamie: "Mama....I wish I was a number."

Mama: "Why?"

Jamie: "Because then people would count me."

There is something so funny about this. There is also something very smart about this. And finally, there is something (I can't quite put my finger on it) very heartbreaking about this. Ah, Jamie.

Karen

I have 2 photo backdrops that I was trying to sell on Craigslist the other day. A lady got ahold of me (her name is Karen) via email and said she would drive down on Monday afternoon and pick them up. I told her that I might not be home, but I'd leave them out on the front porch for her. At about 11:30 I got a phone call.

Karen: "This is Karen, I'm sitting in front of your house and I don't see the backdrops."

Me: "Who is this?"

Karen: "Karen, the one who is buying your backdrops."

Me: "Ohhhhh....hi. Ah, you said you'd be there this afternoon and I haven't had a chance to get home to put them outside. How long are you going to be in town?" (I was out running errands and had a few more to do)

Karen: "uhhh......as long as it takes I guess."

Me: "Alright, well I'll be there in 30."

Karen: "Okay."

Karen sounded less than pleased. But she did say she'd be there in the afternoon and it wasn't even noon yet. But in her defense, sometimes people sound different on the phone, or sound cranky when they really aren't, but I was having a hurried morning already and didn't want to be rushed any more.

Me: "ah! That lady was kinda cranky."

Jamie: "Who was it?"

Me: "Karen."

Jamie: "Why was she mean?"

Me: "Not mean, cranky. She wants to buy my photo backdrops and they arent outside."

Jamie: "oh." .....10 minutes later....."WHy does she want to take away your photo sessions???"

Me: "I just don't need those backdrops anymore, it's okay."

so we get home, she's there, and she's very nice. Okay, so I misjudged her, sue me. But anyway, she was very nice, paid me for the backdrops and loaded them in her car. The windows were down in my car and the kids were in there. She hears them and goes over to them and says hi. Jamie...my sweet, appropriate, always polite boy says:

"See mom? Karen's not mean and cranky."

Rabbits

My sweet Maria. She is completely girly, a princess, and is grossed out by spiders. So this little episode really surprised me.

We were over at my parent's house and Maria was playing next door with her great little friends Alison, Lauren, J.J, Nicholas and Zach. They were playing and came across a few (gag) dead baby bunnies. Like.....very dead. And very baby. (Our cat Killer is going to hell, by the way, for killing all these animals).

I am on the deck and hear them, "There are 3 dead bunnies! Come quick!"

So of course I grab plastic gloves, a ziplock, and paper towels. I run over there to save them from being traumatized. I hand Alice off and shoo the kids away. Yep....3 dead bunnies. I try and grab them all in one swoop but quickly realize maybe grabbing them with my hands inside a plastic baggy was a terrible idea. I would grab it and just as I almost had a firm grip, it'd slip out of my hands. It was like a bad joke I was playing on the kids. "Almost got it...oops, there falls the dead bunny again..." Terrible.

But apparently they weren't scarred or traumatized by the event because after the 3rd bunny slipped, they all yelled, "Cool!! Don't throw it away, we wanna look at the guts and the skeleton." It took everything I had not to puke at them for not being completely disgusted...

Privileges

Every mom has their 'weapon.'

"Come here or I'm taking away your Cars dvd."

"If you don't stop that, you can't have ice cream for dessert."

That kind of thing. Mine is privileges. If the kids are super naughty or don't listen, they have their privileges taken away. What are their privileges? Watching TV, playing with their favorite toys (Jamie's Thomas trains and Maria's Barbies). They know I mean business. Sometimes I give in, but 90% of the time, I don't. That's a pretty good percentage. Jamie sounds HILARIOUS when he gets upset about his privileges being taken away.

Mama: "Jamie, do not climb on that wall or you will lose your privileges. Did you hear what I said? Are you listening? 1...2...okay, they're gone. Your privileges have been taken away."

Go ahead, laugh...(it is pretty hilarious, actually, to hear myself say it).

Jamie screams, he cries, and he fights it the whole way home.

Jamie: "Can I watch Noggin?"

Mama: "No. You climbed on that wall."

Jamie: "Can I play with the trains?"

Mama: "No."

Jamie: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

......5 minutes later....

Jamie: "Are my telebisionliges still taken away?" (that was a cross between television and privileges)

Mama: "Yes, Jamie."

Laundry Basket

I walked into Jamie's room (where Maria falls asleep each night. I know, I know....we are arranging for her to have her own room) tonight and saw Jamie passed out on the bed and Maria was curled up...I mean REALLY curled up....inside a laundry basket. A pillow on one end and a quilt draped over her. She was reading a book.

Maria: "Oh. Hey, mom. I'm just gonna sleep here in this laundry basket tonight."

Okay. Fine. Just don't sneak attack your way into my king size laundry basket tonight.

The White House

Maria is pretty predictable. I mean that she responds to lots of questions how you might expect a 5 year old girl to respond. For example, when asked what she's getting danny for Father's Day she said, "Tools." Because, ya know, every dad wants tools.

Jamie, though, is his own kid.

Jamie: "Mama. For Mother's Day....I will get you.....a big picture of the White House."

Because THAT is what I've always wanted.

When I Grow Up....

My kids say some of the funniest things when we are in the car. They talk to each other and kind of forget I am there.

Maria: "When I grow up I am going to be a sea turtle scientist. A marine biologist."

Jamie: "When I grow up I am going to be a sea turtle."

Maria: "HAHAHA a sea turtle???"

Jamie (in the 'do you really think that's what i said and do you really think I'm that big of an idiot voice): "No, Maria...not a sea turtle. HA. A whale! I'm going to be a whale."

Maria: "oh, Jamie! People can't turn into animals! HAHAHA."

Jamie: "Oh. Well then I will be a worker. Do you want to be a worker helper?"

Maria: "No. I'm going to be a marine biologist."

Jamie: "Oh. I am going to build you something when I am a worker."

Maria: "Oooooh. A gold ring??"

Jamie: "No, Maria. Something that is such a lot bigger."

Maria: "A unicorn??"

Jamie: "No. Even such bigger."

Maria: "Well what is it??"

Jamie: "I am going to build you a big giant Barbie toy store. And your unicorns can stay there, too."

Butter

We are moving Maria's room down to the basement (along with Jamie's) and Dan and I were sorting her clothes from Alice's. We hear Maria:

Maria (singing): "Aliiiiiiiiiiiice. Found the buttttttttttterrrrrrrrrrr. The buutttttttteeerrrrrrrrrr."

Dan and I looked at each other and sprinted out to the kitchen where we found a trail of butter smears leading from the garbage to the living room. And then we found this:

She likes butter. Big deal.

A Kiss

Maria and Jamie rarely fight. They bicker a little bit and talk sassy to each other, but there is never hitting, kicking, biting, that kind of thing. Thank goodness because I don't think I'd be able to handle it. Sassy talk is one thing, but physically hurting each other? Not okay. So I was really surprised when this happened as Jamie was running out from their bedrooms.

Jamie: "mama! Maria hit me!"

Mama: "Maria Grace Prasil! Maria! Come here right now!"

Maria: "Whatttttttttttt????"

Mama: "Did you hit him? Did you really hit Jamie?"

Maria (holding a baseball wrapped inside a scarf -- as if she was using it to swing around really hard): "No, mom. No. See? This baseball was just kissing his face."

See? My kids don't fight.

Peace Out

It is 9:00pm on a Monday night which means that if the kids fell asleep right this minute, they'd get 10 hours of sleep which isn't enough for kids who don't nap. Our kids are definitely not asleep. In fact, they are running around like chickens with their heads cut off. We send them to bed at 7:45 every night. That's early enough, right? Well apparently if we want them to get enough sleep each night, we need to put them to bed at 5:00pm because it takes them 3 hours to get to sleep!

Okay, so I'm laying in bed watching TV (because I would love nothing more than on this night to fall asleep early) and I see Jamie fly by. Once. Twice. Three times. Finally I stop him as he's climbing on Alice's toy train in the hall.

Mama: "Jamie! It is time to go to sleep. You need to go right back into your room!"

Jamie: "Nope. I'm going right here. Peace out, girlscout." And he rides away into the sunset....errr.....living room.

Camping

Last night Danny took the kids camping. There was some mushkala (how you spell that arabic word I will never know, but it means trouble, fiasco, that kind of thing). First, he took them to Field Springs and after about an hour, I got a call from him saying they were coming back to town because there had been 3 black bear sightings that day and he didn't want to let the kids run around. Uhm...duh. So they came back into town and decided to go to Hellsgate across the river. It's still in town, but it's still a fun place to set up camp. So they went, got all set up, and I met them out there at about 9:00pm. The big kids were still up and running around -- not happy.

Jamie: "Mamamamamamammamama!!! We're camping."

Mama: "oooh, sounds like fun!"

Maria: "No, we keep falling over wires." (the tent lines)

Mama: "Oh, darnit, you have to be careful, c'mon, let's go over here. ..... Jamie, watching out for that....[kerplunk]......log."

Jamie starts screaming and is actually kinda hurt.

Mama: "Oh no, well let's go sit over here and we'll wash it all off."

Jamie: "I just wanna go hommmmmmmme. I wanna watch Noggin!!! I wanna get in the car and not sleep here!"

Maria: "Well....we like rooms."

My campin' kids

College

This is pretty cute.

My kids are pretty smart. They really like learning things and asking questions about things. I know, I know, every parent says that so people don't think they sit in front of the TV all day. The cool thing about my kids? They watch a ton of TV and they are super smart. Win-Win.

So tonight in the car ride home:

Maria: "Mom, what is that school you go to after school?"

Mama: "What do you mean?"

Maria: "Ya know, like not for little kids."

Mama: "Oh, you mean college?"

Maria: "Yeah. Why do people go away to college."

Mama: "Well not everyone does. But sometimes they do."

Maria: "What is college?"

Mama: "It's school for grownups."

[long pause]

Jamie: "Mama, what was that word again? The school word?"

Mama: "College?"

Jamie: "Yeah, college. Do you go to college?"

Mama: "Yep, I do."

Jamie: "Are you going to go to college after you're done living with us?"

Mama: "No, Jamie, I can go to school at the same time as you and then we can all come home together."

Jamie: "Good."

awww.

Show and Tell

There is ONE thing Jamie has over Maria: Show and Tell. I have no idea why, but Maria's preschool doesn't do Show and Tell. Maybe it's because the thought of 23 kids bringing toys to class might make the teacher want to puke a little?

Luckily, Jamie's class only has 12 kids and they take turns. Jamie gets a Show and Tell every 4 weeks and Maria hates it. In fact, she has cried over the fact that on some days, Jamie gets to take the Thomas the Tank Engine fanny pack while her Fancy Nancy doll has to stay home. Life isn't fair, is it?

I've never really heard Jamie use his Show and Tell for him and against Maria until tonight. Hilarious.

(jumping and running and climbing in his room)

Maria: "Jamie, come jump over here!!"

Jamie: "Okay, Maria, wait!"

Maria: "Oh, sorry Jamie, you aren't big enough"

Jamie: "......huh. Well you don't have Show and Tell. Nah Nah na Nah Nahhhhh."

Max

Today the kids were playing outside. Jamie likes to climb on the back of Maria's little trike and hitch a ride (see www.rprasil.blogspot.com for a couple cute pictures). Today they were playing that Maria was the big sister and Jamie was the little brother (creative, right??). No, but really, they are super creative because they changed their names. Nope, they weren't Maria and Jamie, they were Annalise (lord knows if i'm spelling that correctly) and Max.

So Maria was riding like the wind with Jamie (ahem, i mean Max) on the back. Well, it happened. Jamie fell off. And Maria drug him a few feet. It was quite a sad sight to see Jamie not really want to let go. It was like watching a new waterskiier get up and then fall and then not want to let go of that rope. Except this was Jamie behind a trike going .01 mph.

Maria: "Oh, no!! Jamie! Are you okay???"

Jamie: (long LONG pause).... "uhhh...it's Max."

TP and baths do not mix

So tonight the big kids got in the bath. We put them in, run the bath water, and while it's running, we change Alice, go check on them, put dirty laundry in the basket, check on them, clean the toothpaste that's caked on to the sink, check on them....that kind of thing. All while the bath is filling up. Before you go and call CPS, we don't fill the bath up all the way. I mean, not even close. They are ALWAYS complaining that it's not full enough. But it's safe. We can hear them -- they never stop screaming and laughing and playing (and fighting) in there. And yes, we do check on them every 1 minute. Literally. While I was gathering their jammers for them to jump into after their baths, they decided to have some fun...

....well apparently they can reach over, grab the toilet paper from the roll, unroll it all and play with it in the bath. Play with it until it dissolves and crumbles into thousands - no, millions - of ridiculously tiny pieces. Pieces so small that I don't even notice them at first.

I walk in, turn off the water and start washing. I wash their bodies and then I wash their hair. But the little suds don't wash out. Not even after rinsing and rinsing and rinsing. Well it turns out that the little 'suds' are actually little pieces of toilet paper. [see above photo]

Jesus Loves You

I rarely put really sweet things that the kids say on here...but this was too cute not to.

We were in the car and Jamie was alseep. I hear Maria talking and turn around to hear this:

Maria (making the sign of the cross on Jamie's forehead): "Jesus loves you and I love you."

Awwwwwwwww

Here, let me explain:

At Costco we got a little playset with a bunch of buckets in it along with sand toys and water toys. He was so excited to get home and play with it.

When we got home, I told him we had to eat lunch and then we'd play with it. We ate lunch and i saw him kinda dancing. Not his normal dancing...he was doing a potty dance.

Mama: "Jamie!! Quick!!! GO!!! GO INTO THE POTTY!!!"

Jamie: "Uhhhh...uhhh....UHHHHH."

He ran into the bathroom, so I thought we were in the clear. But no. He came out with wet pants, undies and shoes. SHOES. AH!

So I told him that if he wanted to go and play outside, he needed underwear, pants and shoes on. This is what he chose. I love him.

But I don't love slipping (and falling...yes, falling) on puddles of urine in my bathroom.

Race

I've said before how Maria likes to be just one step ahead of Jamie all the time. They were in the bath tonight:

Maria: "First out out and in the living (pronounced 'libbing') room wins!!"

Daddy (looking at Jamie): "Ah, Jamie, it's okay, she's sometimes a stinker."

Jamie: "Yeah. And sometimes I lose."

Oh, Jamie. As long as Maria is in charge of things, you don't have a chance at winning.

Shadows

This morning we went up to the gym. They have a daycare there (awesome) and some of our friends' kids hang out there while their moms work out. Brayden and Lydia and Wyatt were all there to play with Jamie and Maria, and they couldn't have been more excited. When we were getting in the car to go home, Jamie was a little wound up. I was putting Alice in on the other side and could hear him yelling/singing:

Jamie: "I LOOOOOOOOVE you, shadow! I love you!!"

Mama: "Jamie, what are you doing? I can't see you...stay by the car please!"

Jamie: "I LOOOOVE you shadow!!"

The front doors to the gym are automatic sliding doors and they popped open. They popped open because a woman's arm was extending, pointing at what I could only guess was Jamie. She was laughing pretty hard. So of course, I run around to the other side of the car because I think he may be doing something like running away or taking his clothes off or something. But no. He's just flat on the ground kissing his shadow.

Gah!

So we are laying in bed and I'm feeding Alice and Jamie is sitting there with us. Now, when Alice laughs or makes any sound it usually makes a hilarious sound like a grunt. We love it. Jamie is our translator:

Mama: "Jamie, thank you for the earrings. I LOVE them. And thanks to you, too, Alice!"

Alice: "gah!"

Mama (whispering): "Jamie, what did she say?"

Jamie: "She said, 'You're welcome,' in Spanish."

Mama: "Oh, thanks."

Alice: "keeehhhhhhh."

Jamie: "That's 'hello'......in French."

Clap

Last night was Maria's "Spring Sing" concert for preschool. Classes get up on stage and sing and then everyone, naturally, claps. We knew right away that Jamie would last maybe 5 minutes if we didn't pull out our bag of tricks. Our bag of tricks is the ipod loaded with Max and Ruby and Phinneaus and Ferb. I think it's a sweet bag of tricks. Anyway, here:

The Audience: "....clap clap clap clap clap...."

Jamie (with his ear buds in so he is talking EXTRA loud, after the clapping has stopped): "Hey! Could you guys keep the clapping down???"

My sweet, polite boy.

Noodles and PBJ

Maria: "Mama, you are the best mama in the world!"

Mama: "Thanks. Why do you think that?"

Maria: "You are the best cooker. You make the best stuff for us."

Mama: "mmmm like what? What do you love that I cook?"

Maria: "Well you make the best peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and noodles with no sauce."

You read that right. Apparently Maria doesn't appreciate the chicken piccata, bit size steak, homemade pasta sauce or macadamia nut halibut that I make. Nope, she likes the basics.

Not Funny

Today is Cinco de Mayo which means our favorite Mexican restaurant was packed. Pat came with us, so there was extra excitement. Dinner went pretty well, the kids were awesome, and afterwards we were going to see Papa and Lala so there was even more excitement. So Patrick is holding Alice and Jamie wants to race to the car. He bolts out into the street and Pat tries to grab him but accidentally trips him instead. He falls and actually rolls. It did look like it sucked. He screams and cries so I pick him up and ask what's wrong.

Mama: "oh no! What happened?!"

Jamie: "I falled. I was racing and I falled!!!!"

Mama: "Ouch that looks like it really hurts!"

Jamie: "yeah......" (sobbing)

Alice: "HA.....HAHAHA.....HEHEHEHE.....AAAHHHHHH." (She is gut rolling. Laughing and pointing, thinking Jamie is being funny)

Jamie (glaring at Alice): "NOT. FUNNNNNNYYYYYYY!!!!"

[it kind of was]

That girl

My younger brother Patrick is 21 years old. Like most 21 year olds, he's had a couple girlfriends. We have really (and I'm totally not just saying this) enjoyed all of them, his current girlfriend included. Maria was 3 when Patrick and his girlfriend at the time, Jac-Jac (what they called her) parted ways, and for some reason she will talk about her every once in a while. Here's what was said in the car on the way home from school the other day:

Mama: "Okay, you guys need to stop screaming or Patrick and Whitney will not be taking you to get ice cream later."

Maria: "Mom, is Whitney Patrick's girlfriend?"

Mama: "Yes. You know she is...you know her."

Maria: "Remember when he used to know the girl named Jac-Jac?"

Oh, Maria. Leave it to her to make a moment awkward....even if it was just me and a couple of toddlers.

***I also want to add that they LOVE whitney. I mean really really love her*****

Costco

The kids were horrible the other day. We were in Costco sitting at the concessions. Danny was talking to a friend (he has days off this week because he is working nights) so it was me, Alice on my lap, Maria sitting next to me and Jamie "sitting" across from me. Nightmare. I don't eat meat, so I asked for a slice of cheese pizza. Maria wanted the same. Well, they were out of cheese (only had one piece) so we got her a pepperoni and took the meat off of it. First of all, she likes pepperoni. She eats it all the time. Secondly, it might sound like I'm terrible for not just taking that one and doing the same, but I can still taste the pepperoni after I do that and it makes me gag. Okay, so anyway, she cried. Like, hid under the table, scowled at me, cried. She ate a little bit of it, but decided it wasn't good. Then there was Jamie who kept creeping away and pulling on the little rope that ropes off the ordering line. What happened? Oh, it broke and snapped back at someone. Awesome. A Costco employee came, didn't look happy, and tried to fix it. Meanwhile, Alice wants to nurse so she's putting her hand down my shirt and whining. Danny comes back and gets Maria a slice of cheese. Then she cries because we wont' get her a churro.

Alright, so the ride home was less than perfect. I was trying to ignore them with the music up but heard this:

Jamie: "mama...can we watch Noggin when we get home?! Mama!!!! Noggin???"

Mama: "Absolutely not. Why would I turn that on for you guys? You were awful!"

Jamie (pretending I hadnt' just said that): "Mama...can you turn on Noggin for us?"

Maria (as serious as a heart attack): "Well....not the way we're acting she won't!"

She gets it.

Friends

Maria talks about her friends all the time. I mean ALL the time. If it's not, "Sophia had really beautiful shoes on today," then it's, "Lydia's hair looks so great in a ponytail," or maybe, "My friends and I had to run really fast together and it was really fun." Jamie, apparently, has had enough.

Maria: "Mama, some of my friends are going to All Saints Catholic School with me next year. That will be so fun, won't it?"

Jamie (dead serious): "What's so great about friends, anyway, Maria??"

oh, my poor, poor, friendless boy.

Cloud Shapes

On our way home from our hiking trip, the clouds were awesome. The kids like to look up at the sky and pretend they see shapes. Maria never likes to be outdone, especially by her little brother. Here's a perfect example:

Jamie: "Look! In the clouds I see a duck!"

Maria: "Hmm. Well over there I see a huge, giant, fat dragon with no legs. It has some teeth."

Giraffes

The other day, the kids were pretending they were different animals:

Jamie: "Maria, I am a dragon."

Mama: "Oh, no! Are you going to eat me?"

Jamie: "Yes! [hehehehehe] Rawrrrr."

Maria: "I am a giraffe."

Mama: "oh, no! Are you going to eat me, giraffe???"

Jamie: "No, mama. Giraffes don't eat girls. Giraffes eat trees. They stretch their necks up really big and they eat trees. Not girls."

And this is really how Jamie talks.

mama garb

Okay, so I am in the middle of getting Alice changed when Maria comes up to me:

Maria: "Hey, mom!" (She's holding a home-made bib that a very sweet grandma - not one of mine or dans, but of a friend of ours - made for Maria when she was born. It is made out of a washcloth and ribbon. It's very sweet and very homemade.)

Mama: "Hey, Maria!"

Maria: "Psh, mom.....But hey, mom, will you tie this around my hips? I wanna look like a mama."

Perrrrrrrrrrrrfect. Starting right now, I am on a mission....and the purpose of that mission is to never, ever, have Maria say anything like that about mamas again. Maybe next time she wants to dress up and look like a mama, she'll be sporting a cute size 2 dress, awesome heels, her eyebrows will be waxed (perfectly) and she'll most definitely NOT be wearing a homemade "apron" tied around her "hips."

100% naked

Danny landscaped our backyard this week. He put in new plants, bark, and even put in a little fountain. The kids LOVE the fountain. They drink out of it like dogs (sick) and splash their toes in it. While I'm editing photos on the computer in the basement, they can play outside because I can see and hear them through the window. Of course, Jamie takes his clothes off the second he's outside. This is nothing new or weird for him. Maria likes to be naked, too, but she isn't quite as quick to pull the clothes off.

This conversation was taking place on either side of a screen on a window.

Maria: "mom, I'm bigger than Jamie, right?"

Mom: "Yes, Maria, you are."

Maria: "Okay, so that means I'm pretty much in charge of him."

Mom: "Sure, Maria. YOu can be in charge." (I knew this was dangerous)

Maria: "Well, mom.....he took his clothes off. He's in the fountain. Splashing."

Mom: "I know, he always does. Just let him. He's fine, no one is here."

Maria: "Okay. But, ya know, since he did that and I"m pretty much in charge of him you know what that means."

Mom: "What?"

Maria: "Well....I'm just gonna have to take mine off, too."

And there they were. Running around completely, 100% naked in our backyard.

Broccoli and egglets

We were eating dinner tonight and we had:

-rolls

-soup

-veggies (broccoli, cauliflower, carrots)

-the kids had eggs

Maria: "Mama, can I have an egglet?"

Daddy: "A what???"

Maria: "An egglet, dad. Ya know...like the kind of eggs where it's flat and round. An egglet."

Mama: "Danny.....she wants an omelet."

Daddy: "Oh, sure. You need to eat your vegetables."

Maria: "But I don't like the white things (cauliflower)."

Mama: "Maria, it doesn't really taste like anything and it's healthy for you. It's kinda like white broccoli."

Maria: "Well mom I don't like broccoli. It's crinkly. Ya know...the green things. Like scrumply. And, well, kinda crumplish."

How can I argue with that? I mean, would you want to eat a crumplish, scrumply broccoli? I didn't think so.

Busy Busy

We have been so busy lately:

birthdays, Easter, quick trips, more birthdays, and sick babies.

There have definitely been funny things said but I didn't write any down. But I'm back. And ready to report.

Lent

For Lent, I usually give something up. I've given up candy (duh, doesn't everyone at least once in their Catholic lifetime?), alcohol, and this year I'm giving up meat, makeup (yikes) and Starbucks. I have failed twice: I love Starbucks oatmeal and sometimes, face powder is a must. But I have had no meat. And whenever Danny suggests hamburgers or steak or something for dinner, I remind him, "Not until Easter." Maria has, apparently, caught on to that.

Mama: "Maria, what is it that you can't eat until after Easter?"

Maria: "Ice cream. Oh, yeah, and bacon."

Mama: "Ice cream and bacon?! haha, why?"

Maria: "Because I have to wait. Uhhh, mom? What would happen if I ate ice cream before Easter?"

Mama: "Nothing at all."

Maria: "So I can still eat it?"

Mama: "Yes."

Maria: "ok, good."

Goin' on a Trip

For Maria's 5th birthday, my mom and dad (Papa and Lala) took Maria to Disneyland. She was told not to talk much about it because Jamie would be sad. But the morning she left, she couldn't handle it any longer:

Maria: "Jamie I am going to Disneyland because I'm 5. When you are 5 do you wanna go on a trip?"

Jamie: "Yes"

Maria: "Okay. But you have to bring me back something."

Jamie: "Okay, Maria"

Maria: "Well.....I just hope you do."

Max

I will not lie: Jamie and Maria watch their fair share of Noggin. It's preschool-aged programming with lots of shows based on children's books like Olivia, Little Bear, Franklin, and their favorite Max and Ruby.

Tonight I was holding Jamie and he got very quiet.

Mama: "Jamie, what are you thinking about?"

Jamie: *silence*

Mama: "What are you thinking?"

Jamie: "I'm thinking of that space suit. Max's space suit."

Here I was thinking he might be thinking something really sweet or profound. But no....it all goes back to Noggin.

Beer

Danny enjoys beer. Brewing beer, drinking beer, beer bottles, brewing companies, the whole thing. He finds it fun and interesting and neat. Yes, neat. The kids know that beer is for adults only, but I wonder what Maria's teachers will think if she repeats this:

Maria: "Beer is not for little girls. I don't like beer."

Mama: "No, beer is for grownups only, and it's not very healthy."

Maria: "No. I don't like beer, Jamie doesn't like beer, you don't like beer and Alice doesn't like beer. But Daddy loves beer."

Mama: "uhm. Yes. He does. He loves beer."

Maria: "I bet Jane's* dad loves beer too."

Mama: "Probably."

*Name changed for the purpose of not humiliating "Jane's" dad.

Just Crocs

Okay so this afternoon Maria had a birthday party to attend. She had waited all weekend for Sophia's party and had been really good about not saying one single word about it to Jamie. Well, she got too excited.

Mama: "Maria, come upstairs and put your shoes on."

Maria: "Okay mama! Is it time for sophia's party?!"

Jamie: "Okay mama! I"m coming, too!!"

So they both race upstairs. Maria is in her leotard and shorts (it's a gymnastics party) and Jamie is in....nothing. Naked. Completely naked. Not a surprise because he enjoys being naked (really, who doesn't?). Maria gets her Nikes on and Jamie gets his Mickey Mouse Crocs on. They both go outside to the garage. Maria gets in the car and buckles herself in. Jamie gets distracted by the open garage door and goes outside.

Mama: "Jamie! No! YOu have to have clothes on to play outside!"

Jamie: "No, mama, I'm getting in the car to go to the party! Uh...I have to go potty."

Before I can do anything, he is standing in our front yard going to the bathroom. Right there. As a small white car drives by. Perrrrrrrfect. I did get a picture, but I don't think it's appropriate to post that.

A couple things:

(1) Really? Going potty outside? Completely naked?! Not okay.

(2) Really? Did you really think, Jamie, that wearing zero items of clothing would be good for a gymnastics birthday party?

Jamie's Ramblings

This is my 'conversation' with Jamie this morning (very one-sided)

Mama: "Hi Jamie."

Jamie: "Hi mama. Milky Way, rocks, purple planet. Purple plaaaaaaaaanet! What are you making? Eggs? I want toast. Can I have toast? I want eggs. oooooooh I have to go potty! Don't start them till I get back!" (running in his undies towards the bathroom)

Mama: "okay." (Jamie comes back after maybe 10 seconds) "Did you go potty?"

Jamie: "no. uhm yes. I did. I went potty on the floor. did you start my eggs? Can I have toast?"

Mama: "yes, here are your eggs. They are hot."

Jamie: "I don't care if they are hot. Ooooh they are hot. Alice Milky Way!! ALIIIIIIIIIIIICE MILKY WAY!"

I am so exhausted already.

And I have a bathroom floor to clean up

Shuffle

Cenone was over the other night watching The Bachelor (I hate you, vienna..you and your hair). Maria LOVES Cenone and would do anything to impress her. Why she thought THIS would impress her, I have no idea:

She walks into the room bent over, walking and kinda dancing...a little. Her arms and hands looked like she was pretending to play the drums and her eyes were half shut and her lips were pursed. And she said:

"I call this...the Maria Shuffle."

Fingers

First let me just say that I 100% realize that I think most of this is funny just because it's my kids who say it. Lots of people would read this stuff and not even smile. This post is probably one of those, because Jamie saying it in his sad, weird, mopey voice is hilarious.

I work out at Adcope (come on bikini body..) and Jamie and Alice stay in the daycare while I get my workout on. Right out side the door to the daycare is a mini reese's cup dispenser. Each time he begs me to buy him one. Surprisingly I actually remembered to bring a quarter this time (yes, I totally stole it out of the Lent donation cup). I put the quarter in and his little finger got in the way. He didn't really squeal or cry or anything, so I just didn't make a fuss over it. But when we got in the car:

Jamie: "mama. My finger. There's a red dot on it. A spot. You hurt me."

Mama: "oh no! Is it okay? Let me look..." (sure enough, a blood blister had popped and it was nasty and looked like it actually did hurt) "it's okay, we'll get a bandaid at home."

Jamie: "No, I don't want a bandaid. We need to get me a new finger. Mine broke."

All of this was said with absolutely no inflection....oh, jamie.

juice

This makes me wanna throw up more than it makes me wanna laugh.

Maria: "I like to suck the hot dog juice more than eating it."

Excuse me while I go puke.

Lost

Maria goes to a Catholic school (like I've said before) and it is held above the church. Every once in a while, they have to walk down by where services take place. My mom came with me to pick up Maria today and we noticed there were lots of cars there. Maria got in the car:

Maria: "They lost someone down in the church so we had to be quiet"

My mom: "Oh, no, did they find them?"

Maria: "no...."

It took us a while to figure out there was a funeral at the church. Her teacher must have told them that they lost a loved one and they had to be quiet while walking around. Oh, little ears.

England

Maria (decked out in a hat, purse and mini backpack): "Goodbye, mom, I'm off to England. I have to go on an adventure and clean my friend's chimney!"

Jamie: "Well, I'm going to Mango!"

Grilled Cheese Pita Bed

Jamie came inside after playing for about a 1/2 hour and in one giant run-on sentence said this:

"Mama I am tired I want a piece of grilled cheese and watch Noggin in the pita bed I want bawoney (balogna to grownups) my tummy hurts when are we going to papa and lalas?!"

wooooooooooah cowboy, slow down.

(1) a piece of grilled cheese?

(2) Noggin is no longer Noggin...it's Nick Jr. And for anyone who doesnt' know, "pita bed" is short for "princess bed" which is what Maria used to call any big bed when she was 2 or younger.

(3) the thought of touching bawoney makes me want to puke.

Out of all these requests, he got the best one: going to papa and lala's house.

Donation

Maria goes to a Catholic preschool (All Saints -- love it) and each year on Ash Wednesday, they are given a little cardboard donation box to fill with coins all during Lent. Maria didn't quite understand it so this is exactly what I said to her:

Mama: "It is a donation box. Donation is when you give something and in this box you give money and it goes to people who need it. I think this money will go to someone in another country."

Maria: "oh. cool."

So later that day we were driving to ballet and Maria was holding the box. Jamie wasn't that interested in it, but that didn't stop Maria from telling him all about it:

Maria: "This is a donation box, Jamie."

Jamie: "oh"

Maria: "We give money to it. And since our country has some money, we give it to other countries who don't have any money like Mexico or Japan or maybe even India."

Jamie: "oh. Mexico."

Poison

I'd like to think that I have trained my children well -- they know that Pepsi is the only acceptable soda. You can imagine how disappointed I was in this little episode:

Television: "....sponsored by Coca-Cola!"

Jamie: "Coca-cola??"

Maria: "yeah. yummmm, coca-cola!"

Mama: "What?! NO!"

Maria: "I know mama, it's poison, but it's just sooooo good."

Clearly she was mistaken. She must have accidently been thinking of Pepsi and the deliciousness of that.

Skippy

So I am sitting at my computer in the basement while the kids play (or rather destroy) in their playroom. Before I tell this story, I have to explain that Maria makes up names for herself. I don't just mean that she pretends her name is "Annie" or "Katy" or real names. She makes them up. Words and sounds that make no sense. Okay, so moving on, Maria comes in

Maria: "Hello. I am a park ranger." (she is wearing a gigantic pin on her shirt featuring Minnie, Mickey and Goofy) "This is my badge. My name badge."

Mama: "Well what does it say?"

Maria: "My name is Jezabelle Police Hihel Kafa. But you can call me Skippy for short."



PS: Skippy, I'm so very sorry if I butchered the spelling of your name.

Nothing about this post is funny

Our puppy Zeek got into stuff.



He made a huge giant mess



NOT a happy camper.

Bath: Part II

Mama: "Jamie, do you have to go to the bathroom?"

Jamie: "No. I already went. In the tubby."

(Shrugs shoulders and holds his hands up like it's a question)

Jamie: "It is gross to go potty in the tubby. I need to go potty in the toilet."

Please cross your fingers that he actually believes this.

Bath time is not necessarily clean time

The kids LOVE bath time. I mean, LOVE it. They spend 10 seconds getting their hair cleaned and bodies cleaned and 25 minutes playing. I thought that in our house, we all pretty much felt that the best place to go potty was in the toilet. I was wrong. Even when there is a toilet less than 2 feet away, Jamie would rather go in the bath water. The fresh bath water.

So Danny put both kids in the bath, turned the water on, then turned around to look for the bubble bath. As he was turned around, he heard a second stream of water.

Danny (turned around to see Jamie): "NO! NO, NO, NO! GET OUT! Both of you!"

Maria: "Jamiiiiiiiiiiiiiie"

(I thought for sure she would be scolding him)

Maria: "We BOTH went potty in the bath!!!"

gross. SO SO SO gross. I mean, does it get any grosser?!? They were both taken out of the bath, the water was drained, and new water was put in. They weren't even sorry.

Twins

Anyone who knows Maria really well knows that once in a while, she will say something in the sassiest, most 14-year-old voice ever. And it just sounds mean.

Jamie will often say something just to say something. He loves Maria more than anything and likes to be cool when he's around her, so he'll sometimes say something just to start a conversation. Then Maria shoots him down.

Jamie: "Ooh, Maria, you and Alice look the same!"

Maria (in her sassy voice): "uhh, yeah jamie. We're twins."

Jamie: "yep. you are."

ohhhhh Maria. If she only knew how completely uncool it is to dress exactly like your baby sister.

Painting

What is it with my kids and toilet water?! It's not like our toilets are disgusting and caked with nasties, but c'mon. It's a toilet. Let's just say I wouldn't dip a small watercolor paintbrush in the toilet water, then suck the water off of it. But Jamie would.

He walks in the living room holding a paintbrush. I say, "Jamie, where'd you get the paintbrush and what are you doing?"

Jamie: "I'm painting, mama."

Mama: "Yes, I see, but where did you get the water?"

Jamie (as he's sucking the 'paint' off the paintbrush): "uhm...the toilet?"

I quickly ran into the bathroom to make sure the toilet water was at least fresh. Thank goodness it was. Not that it makes it okay...but it makes it better.

Oh what a clean, clean boy I have.

Blow Your Socks Off

It's amazing...the things kids hear at school, on tv, from other adults...

Well Maria, thinking she was pretty smart and funny:

"Jamie, that really blew your socks off"

Jamie: "no, Maria. It did not blow my socks off." (this really is how he talks)

Maria: "yeah, it totally will blow your socks off."

Jamie: "NO, Maria, come over here! See? My socks are right here! You did not blow them off!"

Maria: (giggling) "no, jamie, that's just a joke!"

Jamie: "No, Maria. It's not a joke because there are my socks."

Oh, Jamie.

Gross?

Whenever Maria drinks milk she asks: "Mom, am I bigger?" They must have learned that milk helps you grow. She is also obsessed with asking if what we are eating is healthy, being bigger than her friends, and carrying Jamie around to show her strength. So tonight, she asks us:

"Hey, am I going through a gross spurt?"

When She is Tired, She's Tired..

No, Alice didn't say anything funny (but she does say "mama" now) but look at this picture. Really, Alice? You really didn't have enough strength to sit down, then lay down if you were so tired? Nope. After getting mad at me for not holding her for 2 minutes (the big kids decided to turn their bathroom into SeaWorld, so it needed to be cleaned up) she decided she would just take a nap. Standing up.

Water Toes: Part 2

I'm sitting in bed watching TV and I hear Dan walk into the bathroom:

Dan: "What??? Are you guys playing WATER TOES again?! NOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Oh, water toes....the fun never ends.

Water Toes

Jamie: "I'm the only one who does water toes."

Maria: "NO you're NOT! I can do it too!!"

Mama: "What is water toes?"

Jamie: "It's water toes."

Maria: "It's where we sit on the tub and dip our toes in the toilet. And then we walk around on the bathroom floor. Water toes."

So basically, right now, our babies' toes AND our bathroom floors are squeaky clean.

The Mango

Maria and Alice...

....dancing...

....the "Mango"

Not to be confused with the "tango."

Snow Fairy

My baby boy (okay, so he just turned 3, but he is still my baby boy!) is the sweetest. He is soft and sweet and because he has an older sister who doesn't mind telling him what is the best, coolest and prettiest, he loves all things pretty and pink. He also loves trains, trucks and dirt, but has a soft spot for anything girly. So, it didn't surprise me to hear this request the other day:

"Mama....can I be a snow fairy when I grow up?"

Yes, Jamie. Of course you can be a snow fairy. I wouldn't want you to be anything else.

Musicians

Last night was the premier of 'Lost' and since I am a Lostie and so are my parents and my brother and his girlfriend, we obviously had a Lost party. While I was tending to my sick boy (poor baby) in our bedroom, Maria was showing off. Laying with Jamie, I hear from the other room:

Maria: "And see? It disappeared"

My Mom: "Wow. How did you do that?!"

Maria: "I can't tell you. Musicians never reveal their secrets."

So she's a magician AND a musician. So very talented.

Sometimes, having to go potty is disgraceful

Maria always, without fail, has to go to the bathroom 1 minute AFTER we have pulled away from either our house, a restaurant, a store, or another place with a toilet and sink. This time the potty dance started on the blue bridge going to Clarkston after we were at Main Street Grille. Her legs were thrashing, her face was scrunched up, and she was DEFINITELY doing the potty dance. Finally, I said, "Maria! Stop yelling! Next time, you will have to tell us BEFORE we leave! You are just going to have to hold it for 5 more minutes."

Maria: "But it's just so...so...so...DISGRACEFUL!"

Babies

The title of the blog says it all

Apparently, this is what Maria thinks about her baby sister and all her baby friends:

"Everything about babies smells gross!"

I, on the other hand, beg to differ.

They Are Hilarious

I'm just gonna say it. Our kids are freaking hilarious. They say whatever is on their minds, and usually, they're thinking of pretty funny stuff. Who doesn't love a girl who calls Twinkies "Weenies" or a 3 year old boy who loves wearing princess dresses (without undies) and wants to be a snow fairy when he grows up? Even Alice's 1/2 grunt 1/2 giggle is funny. So, enjoy this blog : a collection of the funny stuff our kids say.