Jamie: "mama! Maria hit me!"
Mama: "Maria Grace Prasil! Maria! Come here right now!"
Maria: "Whatttttttttttt????"
Mama: "Did you hit him? Did you really hit Jamie?"
Maria (holding a baseball wrapped inside a scarf -- as if she was using it to swing around really hard): "No, mom. No. See? This baseball was just kissing his face."
See? My kids don't fight.
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